


"Have we ever made love?"

by ynyseira



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Drabblish, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Oral Sex, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Short, Spuffy, not quite drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-05
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2020-01-05 05:43:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 338
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18359783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ynyseira/pseuds/ynyseira
Summary: Spuffy takes the mickey out of Xander in season 6 post-Tabula Rasa.





	"Have we ever made love?"

**Author's Note:**

> **I am only playing with the characters that Joss Whedon so graciously shared with the world. They are not mine.**

“Buffy?” Xander called. “Buff, you in here?”

Xander heard moans and gasps coming from the basement of Spike's crypt. He descended the ladder, stared with horror at the sight before him, and covered his eyes, shielding them from the awful scene.

“I should have known better. Dear God. Oh, I am not a smart man,” he cried, hands still blocking his view. “Tell me you're not making love right now.”

Spike propped himself up on his elbow, naked and looking amused. 

“Dunno, Slayer.” He addressed the writhing mass hidden under his bedsheets. “Have we ever 'made love?’"

Buffy's head popped out from between his legs; her hair was frizzy and her lips moist. “Ew.”

“Shagged?”

“Yes.”

“Boinked?”

“Juvenile, but sure.”

“Boned, banged…”

“Pretty much all the B words.”

“Rolled in the hay?”

“Iz fun!”

“Made the beast with two backs?”

“The only thing I remember from Shakespeare.”

“Screwed, did the nasty, fucked our brains out…”

“I GET IT!” interjected Xander. “You like putting your parts together. Just please, please let me go now so I can find Willow and make her do that memory-wiping spell on me so I can not have to think of this ever again.”

Buffy put on her concerned face. “Did you need something, Xander? Is something going down?”

As she realized what she'd said, she looked at Spike and dissolved into uncontrollable giggles. Spike chuckled along.

“Just, you know, the end of the world again, but I'll call Giles and tell him to come back from England to handle it. You two just…” he backed away while waving a hand in their direction, the other still covering his eyes. “...just keep…” He ran back to the ladder and scampered up. “Bye!”

Buffy finally stopped laughing and turned serious again. “I should go see what's up.” 

Spike lay back on the bed. “If it were that bad he wouldn't have left. You can deal with it later… we're not finished here yet.”

Buffy bit her lip and grinned, then dove back under the covers.


End file.
